Dear Voice,
Where are you?! You haven't returned my messages! You've been gone so long, I am starting to get worried. Please get back to me quickly. Get back to me before I completely loose it all come the trafficking services. I love you.
Love,
Miss Pony
***
Dear YouTube,
I would like to register a complaint, mainly: you have several thousand videos--plently of trashy videos--but you do not have that one scene from Despicable Me up there. What kind of website are you anyway?
Love,
Miss Despicabled
***
Dear Headache,
May you die a thousand deaths. Be tortured by a thousand tortured. Be abandoned in the black hole of Calcutta. Ye gads!
Love,
Miss Paine
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