Are All Jokes the Same?

Something happened to me at work the other week. One of my bosses yelled at me and then said, "Don't worry I was just joking, I was just trying to confuse you and I don't mind saying that it was really easy."

Now, I like joking and I love laughing. When he yelled at me though, his "joking," as he called it, startled me, it surprised, embarrassed, hurt, and offended me. I was so flustered, I didn't know what to do. I could have cried.

Is a joke okay if it hurts another person? I know that pretty much any joke is going to offend at least one person somewhere. Is it okay if you "didn't really mean it"? I don't buy the words "I didn't really mean it," I know pretty much any time I have said those words I pretty much really did mean whatever I said. Yes, I didn't mean to say it but it really is pretty much how I feel.

A joke is not a joke if you are the only one laughing.