Bess Aldrich

Even though I don't actually like the name Bess. Or Elizabeth. Or Lizzie. Or Eliza, but since the gal in My Fair Lady's name is Eliza that one isn't too bad I suppose.

Well, anyone ever heard of a woman by the name of Bess Aldrich? She's written several books, my mother owns six or seven of her books, I've read two of them, read the first two chapters of a third, read the first 10 pages of a fourth, and just started a fifth.
I read a Song Of Years and A Lantern In Her Hand, I liked both of them, she could calmly relate a growing romance with out turning it into one of those paperback romances that feature skimpy clothed people on their covers. (Or she can most of the time.) Which is good, she always includes children, and she has some very good sentences. As you shall see, if you read what I quote, as long as your not visually disturbed by spoilers, though I doubt I'd do anything that would actually spoiler you. Shocking!

I also started her book called Spring Came On Forever, I read the first two chapters before I set it down in disgust. It 'twas really quite disturbing. In the start of a book a young man is working for another man making iron pots and kettles, now, I do not have a problem with a young man trying to earn a living, certainly not. Well, in the beginning chapter of the book a wagon pulls in toward the shop and out steps a man who can barely speak English, luckily the young man and the older man both have the same native language and manage to converse. Do you think I have anything against people discussing things in a language other than English? Certainly not! (Who do you think I am?!) Down from the wagon batting her eyelashes at the boy is a girl as beautiful as the day (lovely E. Nesbit reference), and before you ask: no, I do not have a problem with someone being as beautiful as the day, it isn't their fault afterall. Anyway, the two young people pass a few words, the older man wants a pot for making soap (if I remember correctly), all is nice and above board. The second chapter is the second day, which is the young man's free day, well, he gets on his horse and goes on a frantic journey for the girl--did I forget to mention he is somehow madly in love with her at this point? He finds her far out in the woods and they meet behind the shed (well the soap smell from yesterdays 'venture still hangs in the air). Their conversation and actions at this point and onward, that is what I am very much against. It's rather a cross between Romeo and Juliet and one of those paperback romances that feature halfclothed characters on their covers. You know the stuff:

Boy: Oh, darling, your like no girl I've ever met before! *masculine swoon* *smooch* *smooch*
Girl: Oh! [enter some romantic sounding male name] Wrap me in your arms well you have the chance. *smooch* *smooch*
Boy: I shall! *smooch* *smooch* Where is your father? I must tell him how madly I am in love with you!! *smooch* *another passionate kiss for good measure*
Girl: Oh, dearest, not yet. He might be angry. *smooch* *smooch*

And, I am not exaggerating! By the end of the second or third chapter the boy had received a tear stained note from the girl saying her father had found out about the two of theirs romantic relationship and was whisking her away across the country to keep her out of it. When I left off of the book (and told mother it wasn't in the least decent) the boy was racing across the country after the girl, hoping to catch her and wondering how on earth he would get her away from her father, maybe he thought the gun he was carrying would be useful for more things than just catching his own dinner...

Well, that book was a failure, but I started another one about six months later anyway. The next one I began was titled The Lieutenant's Lady (or Girl, something like that). This one started out quite nicely actually. In fact when a book begins like this you know the sentences are going to be good.

"Seventy-five years ago a young woman kept a diary in which she wrote some of her innermost thoughts, many of the daily happenings, and all of the weather. This story is the fictionalized version of the real diary. The thoughts more or less trite pedantic have been curtailed, the happenings (for obvious reasons) sometimes changed, but the weather remains practically intact.
"...So step out of the yellowed diary, Linnie Colsworth,.... Recreate yourself from the fading ink of it's pages and help us understand something of the stanch heart that beat under those hard little stays, bidding you defy convention three-quarters of a century ago."

Now, isn't that perfectly lovely? Yes, you've probably guessed all her girls are quite interested in femininity and womans rights, *rolls eyes* but not always, which is good. So we have our main characters name at this point, Linnie Colsworth, we have the color of her hair, eyes, and a description of her mouth of all things. Well, that's all we hear of her until five pages later, I was thoroughly tempted to skip those five pages as they where nothing but drawn out descriptions of old Western towns, but after reading a certain topic that went on in NarniaWeb's book thread not long ago I couldn't bare too--was ashamed to in fact. So I plugged through it, and was delighted by one good sentence on teeth.

"...like the cavities of missing teeth in some giant denture, into which new ones were to be fitted."

Then, finally we again met our main character and her family, distant family as we learn she is spending a year with her uncle and his family, as her own parents are dead, she has no siblings, and her current guardian has a very boring personality, (we also learn that her uncle insisted on her visitation.) We find she has a cousin who as great fun "making eyes" at two gentleman, turning her head from one to the other well playing Weeping River on the piano. And when Aldrich quoted Weeping River in italics we find that she used a font in the book that has a most exquisite question mark. Seconds later in the book I found *drum roll* a page missing! Page 11 and 12 was gone clean away, so yes, we threw that book away and I picked up a different Aldrich book.

I am now reading another book. This is the fifth Aldrich book I have began. This one is titled Miss Bishop and begins with much discourse about a good ol' college. The book begins at the start of the semester, with the students all dismally gathered in a large foyer well the rain rains outside. At the door is a janitor who is very much Dutch and with the name Chris Jensen. There is also a girl in green velveteen crying, she cries quite a bit in this first bit. At several points she is "...shedding copious tears into a expensive handkerchief..." or "the green velveteen girl mopped seeping moisture diligently" it's really quite humorous. Her name is Irene and is quite wealthy, she is also quite spoilt and is only crying because she didn't want to go to school in the first place but her father had said she must. Oh and she is also half-engaged to a young man named Chester, who is really quite horrid, poor gal. We also meet a young teacher by the name of Sam, now he, he! If it weren't for Chris and his lovely accent than Sam would be my favorite character, he has the most delightful handwriting!

"He [Sam] wrote it with great flourishes, his hand making many dizzy elliptical journeys before it settled down to make a elaborate 'E' with a curving tail as long as some prehistoric baboons."

"When the last name had been entered by Samuel Peters' agile pen with much shading of downward strokes and many extra corkscrew appendages...."

Oh! *dies well muttering something about Corkscrew Appendages*

*revives* See what I mean? Anyway, I've finished the first five chapters of the book which cover about two years in which Ella goes out with Sam several times, out of pity for him, not because she likes him, in fact, he bores her but because of her "effervescent spirits she manage[s] to have a grand time in spite of [Sam's] rather depressing presence." Well, Sam doesn't seem to notice this he has actually just purposed to her! But of course, she said no, they always do. But he shall be back and by the time he is back she will be quite thoroughly head over heals for him I have no doubt.

So now, I must pass Aldrich if I am going to read all of our fiction and I've come to the conclusion that I really don't have anything against pure heartfelt love and all that's mushy but it is quite dull to read about...

(Imported from Xanga.)