1. You are reading the words of a square dance graduate. I have a bachelor degree of square dancing! Woot, woot! Our graduation was so much fun! Trying to dance while holding a balloon between your knees is a very silly adventure. It would have been easier to bunny hop around but how are you suppose to hop through a swing? If anyone has a smart Alec answer, would they please keep it to themself.
2. I used the word "word" loosely when I say that I used the word "awesomesauce" today...or maybe it was yesterday. I was gushing about Pandora. I love my Pandora! I really didn't care for it when I first tried it but when I resurrected my Pandora account a few months later, I love it. Pandora needs to be trained, once you've had some time to use the like and dislike button then your Pandora is you-smart. You put the coordinates in the GPS and now your cruisine down the highway with the cyber monkeys manning the wheel.
My Pandora played an awful lot of ABBA today. Seriously. It is no wonder I was singing/humming those songs all afternoon and evening.
3. Oh, horrors! Most horrid horror of all horrors! I some how managed to develop a stomach between now and when I last looked down at myself. Seriously I look down and I see my belly sticking out past the other areas that stick out. There is probably a proverb about gluttony that I should take to heart. I don't see any harm in having two helpings of spaghetti, some salad, some casserole, and two helpings of apple crisp with whipped cream as long as no one else goes hungry because of me. As long as everyone else is having their full, why shouldn't I have mine? So, yep, I have a stomach until this all is digested.
4. Whiny people really get on my nerves. So, you say that you cannot put your own socks on. You could at least give a valiant effort to put them on anyway and not be whimp and start crabby at me. Maybe I should rewrite that as, whiny people who stubbornly do not try because they do not want to succeed, get on my nerves. I would be a lot more willing to help you with your socks if you would, um, ask nicely. Sound reasonable?
5. I was cursed with chronically naughty hair or else I was cursed with a complete lack of hair skills. Maybe I was cursed with both because, ye gads, children, my hair is always such a mess. Thank goodness I only really notice it when I happen to see myself in the mirror and I do not usually come across many mirrors. I also notice it when I touch it but I can usually just hope that it doesn't look as bad as it feels and leave it at that. Yes, it's true. For me, every day is a bad hair day. Minus every second Tuesday in the fifth week of every thirteenth month, those days I always have Wonder Hair.
6. I fail grocery shopping. Everything from picking up an item on the way home to buying in bulk for the next three months. Things start out with a list of items to purchase either on paper or within the grey matter. Next, to the store, I usually take the most lengthy, roundabout, and illogical route available. Once I get to the store I wander around not finding what I am looking for. I start by going to the aisle I would expect it to be on and then, when I do not find it, I start at one end of the store and go up and down every aisle until I find what it was I was looking for. Once I find the item I want I spend a great deal of time pondering two questions: which brand/size/etc. and is this purchase really necessary. I repeat this with every other item and then I go check out. When I get to the check out line I hand over the wrong combination of bills or else I give the plastic fantastic machine a little nightmare. I take the second most illogical route. Once home I remember all the things I forgot to buy. I swear solomnly to never again forget my paper list or else I promise carefully to never again lean on a mental list but to o
always put the list down on paper.
True story.
7. My eye lids are threatening to close on me. It is taking everything I have to remain conscious.
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