Destination: Lowe's

How're you all doing? Good? Me, too. Scatterbrained and stupid but good.

So today I was supposed to go to Lowe's and buy two gallons of white paint and two gallons of fuchsia. I had a post-it note with me, I was told to get paint in the same color as the color of the note. Professional, I know.

So, I head to town to buy four gallons of paint. I get to WalMart and realize--John Travolta! I don't think there is a Lowe's in this town! So, in situations like this I take my handy-dandy mobile phone and call the helpline. Whenever I have a question or concern or I need help or I need...anything, I call this number and they either help me, tell me they cannot help me and hang up, or else they don't pick up the phone at all. (See that? That's a little bit of humor for ya'll.) This number, is, of course, my home number. So I called, "Hey, where is the nearest Lowe's? I know there is a Lowe's next to Walmart somewhere in America."

A couple minutes later, I hang up and pull out of the Walmart parking lot. A couple minutes later, on the ramp to get on the interstate, I make several exclamations to the empty car. I'm about to merge onto the wrong interstate! *mumblemumblemumble* Luckily, getting off again did not include going miles and miles in the wrong direction. It was fairly easy to get off, turn around in a nearby Pilot, and start off in the right direction.

From there, getting to Lowe's was fairly easy. The interstate fairly dropped me off in the Lowe's parking lot. I went in and learned that Lowe's cannot match paint to a colored piece of paper. I looked and he looked for a swatch of the same color or similar to the post it note. Apparently neon fuchsia is not a common wall color. I bought the white and exited the store.

Back in home sweet vehicle, I got a hold of Nadia and asked her what I should do? I couldn't get the color she wanted for her room. Was she okay with a darker, not neon shade? Did she want a different color altogether? I hung up after she told me and then tried to figure out how I was going to pay for the two gallons of paint.

I was not aware just how expensive paint really is. My goodness, it is a robbery akin to what constantly occurs under the falsely welcoming canopy of gas stations everywhere.

All the cash and pennies I had combined with the $6 on my card was not enough for the paint, so, what did I do? Well, I called my mother and asked her to hack into my bank account and transfer money from my savings account to my checking account. A mother is a handy thing to keep around, everyone should have one like mine.

I went back into the store. (Which was awkward.) I bought paint and it was horribly expensive but I got a $10 rebate. :D I canst not wait until pay day.

(Okay. You might be thinking
A. I overspend and that is why I needed to transfer money.
B. Saul is a swindler and swindling me.
C. The earth is flat.
D. All of the above.
If you answered anything other than C, you get a F, a sad face, and a plate of brussel sprouts. Congratulations.)