The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

I've been tossing blog ideas around, sort of, for these last few days. Often I'll think of something to write about and then I don't have time to write and so the idea sits and becomes decrepit and then fades off. Um, anyway, here's this.
My siblings were talking about the Pirates Who Don't Do Anything the other day.
Brother: How is it they don't do anything and still sing?
So, I got to wondering, yes, I've never kissed a spark plug but here are some things I have (and haven't) done.
I have...
-Never been to China.
-Never dug (nor attempted to dig) there, either.
-Given away lemonade.
-Scanned hundreds of books and DVDs (and videos) and been to countless booksales.
-Never dyed my hair.
-Never been on a little league team.
-Flown in a hot air balloon (hmm, "flown" is a very strong word).
-Shot a gun.
-Never jump roped a hundred times.
-Never died.
-Cross-polinated hundreds of soybeans.
-Rogued 'til I couldn't hardly stand.
-Flown in a plane,
-Never a helicopter.
-Never unpurposefully been left at church or a funeral.
-Crawled around/walked through/sat on soupy mud. :P
-Played Twister.
-Saw a "professional" magician (he made a "miniature" statue of liberty disapear and then disapeared himself to end the show).
-Never had a $1,000,000. :P
-Never gone snowboarding.
-Never thrown mash potatoes.
-Never made them, either.
-Plucked a chicken.
Now, someone lyrically gifted. Write me a song.
(The title I gave my last post is from the song Standing At the Station by Paul Colman.)
Sent from my iPod